It's all about me
In the begining
My official records at my vet describe me as a Domestic Short Hair. The only thing domestic about me, dears, are my staff @dignut and @nookiedog. Before I moved in and took ownership of Toxic Towers from them, I lived nearby, but struggled with the presence there of small children and a dog. I do not like small children or dogs.
Motherhood and beyond
I am a mother of two: Blackwans and Fluffwans (which probably comes as a shock due to my youthful looks), though they have both moved away, and I have since then had my kitten production apparatus disabled. This allows me to focus on taking over the world with fewer distractions.
One of the remaining distractions is my on-off boyfriend @GingerStud. He’s just how I like my men: big and mean, with a scar on his face picked up from fighting with a fox.
He lives at the stables nearby, and regularly turns up at Toxic Towers to chase off other cats, and to court me. I play very hard to get, of course.
A cat that tweets
A couple of years ago I discovered Twitter, mistakenly thinking there would be a lot of tasty feathered friends to drool over. Like everybody else starting out on Twitter, I was thoroughly confused by it for a few weeks, but since then have steadily gained followers. My latest tweets can be viewed at the bottom of this page. I urge you to follow me.
Fatwans.com is the next piece of the jigsaw puzzle that has a picture of me sitting on top of a globe on the front of the box.
Whilst viewing my website, your brain is being bombarded with subliminal messages. You are also being subjected to a mild form of hypnosis. After only thirty seconds of viewing this page I have managed to reprogram your mind so that you are now a sleeper agent in the Fatwans Revolution. The 'activation' phrase is "meow meow".
You will now forget reading the above information, go about your boring life as usual.
Thank you for your adulation.